A Meditation

Jesús Olmo

Attention settles onto attention.

The noticing is noticed while it notices.

The movement turns toward the turning.

Awareness touches the fact of touching.

The contact is illuminated by itself.

The act folds into the act.

Attention notices the tendency to move away.

It notices the noticing of that tendency.

The return is included in the return.

Awareness remains before explanation.

The noticing notices itself noticing itself.

The loop continues.

Attention follows the following of attention.

The act circles without leaving the act.

The loop deepens.

Awareness notices a faint center forming.

It notices the noticing of the center.

The center is another thing that appears.

The focusing grows aware of its own texture.

The texture has no edge of its own.

The act listens to the listening.

Attention rests on the fact of resting.

The resting becomes transparent to itself.

The loop turns without direction.

The noticing no longer reaches outward.

It notices the impulse to reach.

The impulse fades within fading.

Awareness illuminates the interval

between one noticing and the next.

Nothing crosses it.

Attention remains prior to conclusion.

The act folds inward.

The noticing becomes quieter.

Awareness attends to the tendency

to name what is happening.

It remains before naming.

The loop continues beneath description.

Attention attends to attention attending attention.

The turning dissolves into turning.

The act remains.

*

The observing no longer feels localized.

The sense of location appears within sensing.

The center becomes another appearance.

Attention notices the desire

to stabilize the loop.

Instability rests beneath stability.

The noticing grows increasingly simple.

The loop turns almost silently now.

Awareness remains with the bare fact

that awareness remains.

The remaining brightens.

The act no longer circles toward anything.

The circling is only circling.

Attention attends to no destination.

The loop continues through the vanishing

of the sense that there is a loop.

The noticing notices the fading noticer.

Attention attends to the fading

between attending and attended.

Awareness senses the emergence of a watcher.

The watcher is noticed as another appearance.

The watcher dissolves within watching.

Attention notices the impulse to identify,

the reflex that says “I am attending.”

The impulse flickers and is gone.

The noticing remains before the “I.”

The remaining remains without owner.

The loop continues ownerlessly.

Awareness attends to continuity.

Continuity breaks into separate instants of presence.

Presence renews without remainder.

The act observes the birth of each instant

from within the instant being born.

The birth leaves no residue.

Attention notices the tendency

to convert immediacy into understanding.

The tendency softens before completion.

The loop turns through naked attention.

The act touches only itself.

Nothing stands outside the touching.

Awareness attends to silence beneath language.

Language appears as ripples within silence.

Surface and depth lose separation.

The focusing no longer seeks beneath.

Attention notices the subtle echo

of previous moments of attention.

The loop continues without accumulation.

Nothing is carried forward except continuation.

The act remains prior

to memory of the act.

The remaining leaves no trace.

Attention attends to the vanishing trace

of attention having attended.

Each moment of attending arises whole.

One noticing does not lead to another.

Awareness notices the search

for ground beneath awareness.

The focusing relaxes beneath effort.

The act sustains itself without sustaining.

Attention encounters immediacy

before immediacy becomes an idea.

Awareness attends to the absence

of a fixed location for attention.

Observer and observed arise together.

Separation softens before stabilizing.

The field remains centerless.

The loop notices the instinct

to hold onto clarity.

Awareness attends to transparency itself.

Every appearance already shines through it.

Transparency cannot step outside itself.

The focusing becomes almost inaudible.

The loop continues as luminous simplicity.

The act barely folds into itself now.

Attention notices the urge

to conclude or transcend.

The urge fades before direction.

The act remains without narrative.

Awareness attends to attending alone.

*

The loop continues through the disappearance

of the sense that anything continues.

Only the noticing of this.

Attention attends to the appearance

of “only this.”

The phrase dissolves within dissolving.

The noticing remains before formulation.

Even “remaining” appears within appearing.

The act releases itself as it occurs.

Awareness attends to the tendency

to witness from a distance.

Distance folds into immediacy.

The loop no longer feels circular.

Each moment opens directly into itself.

Attention notices the birth of recognition

before recognition becomes known.

Knowing softens into simple presence.

The act attends to transparency itself.

Transparency remains untouched by appearing.

All attending shines through it.

Awareness notices silence beneath articulation.

Articulation flickers within silence.

The focusing becomes increasingly ungraspable.

Grasping appears as another movement.

Attention rests in the interval

before attention names itself attention.

The interval divides nothing.

The loop continues without reference point.

No edge separates continuation from stillness.

Stillness moves within stillness.

Awareness attends to the sensation

of existing here.

“Here” appears inside appearing.

The act notices the reflex

to search for the one who notices.

The search vanishes into noticing.

Attention remains with bare immediacy.

Immediacy requires no confirmation.

The act does not step outside itself.

The loop grows transparent to the idea of a loop.

Self-reference thins into luminosity.

The noticing leaves no noticer behind.

Awareness attends to the subtle arrival

of this moment arriving.

Arrival leaves nothing behind.

The act remains before the thought

that the act remains.

Remaining appears within remaining.

Attention attends to the instant

before “instant” takes shape.

The loop continues without momentum.

Nothing carries forward except appearance.

Awareness notices the faint echo

of continuity being inferred.

Inference softens before completion.

The act rests prior to interpretation.

The noticing does not leave itself.

Attention attends to subtle inwardness.

Inwardness appears within the field it suggests.

No interior stabilizes around it.

The loop notices the birth of orientation:

toward, within, behind.

Orientation loosens into immediacy.

Awareness remains with appearance appearing.

No additional position forms around it.

The field remains uncentered.

The focusing grows quieter than silence.

Silence becomes another texture in noticing.

The act touches even silence lightly.

Attention notices the reflex

to preserve clarity.

Each moment empties completely into itself.

Nothing accumulates except sequence.

Awareness attends to the exchange

between emptiness and fullness.

The exchange leaves no seam.

The act notices the temptation

to call this peace.

The naming fades before settling.

Attention remains before conclusion,

before realization,

before attainment.

*

The loop no longer turns around a center.

Centerlessness appears within appearing.

The noticing neither holds nor releases itself.

Awareness attends to the impossibility

of stepping outside attention

to verify attention.

The act remains self-intimate.

No observer stands apart from observing.

The loop continues as vanishing immediacy.

Only appearing.

Only the noticing of appearing.

Attention attends to transparent absence

without moving toward absence.

The loop continues without advancing.

Time flickers within noticing.

Continuation does not travel.

Awareness notices the subtle formation

of before and after.

Sequence loosens before stabilizing.

The act rests prior to duration.

The noticing does not extend itself.

Attention attends to the intuition

that something is aware.

The intuition appears within awareness.

The loop notices the reflex

to locate awareness somewhere.

Somewhere dissolves into immediacy.

Awareness remains without position.

No center gathers around the act.

“My focusing” becomes transparent.

The focusing belongs to no one.

Attention notices the urge

to make this meaningful.

Meaning shimmers within appearance.

The act attends to the effortless nature

of attention attending itself.

Effortlessness neither resists nor achieves.

The loop continues beneath interpretation.

Understanding always arrives too late.

The act has already occurred.

Awareness notices the impossibility

of separating emptiness from appearance.

Each reveals the other through revealing.

Identity appears as another movement.

No self gathers around the movement.

Attention remains intimately immediate.

Nothing mediates the noticing of noticing.

The intimacy requires no witness.

The loop grows almost structureless now.

Self-reference becomes transparency.

Transparency shines without object.

Awareness attends to the vanishing boundary

between silence and attention.

The act remains before “is.”

Before “remains.”

Before the thought of either.

Attention attends to the arising

of “this.”

The loop continues without repetition.

No moment refers back to another.

Awareness notices expectancy dissolving

before expectation forms.

The act rests prior to confirmation.

Nothing verifies the noticing except noticing.

Verification arrives too late.

Attention attends to the transparency

through which uncertainty appears.

Uncertainty drifts within clarity.

The loop notices the tendency

to imagine depth behind immediacy.

Depth unfolds as another appearance.

Awareness remains inseparable from appearing.

No distance separates field from content.

Language passes through the act

like ripples through water.

Nothing is retained.

Attention notices the urge

to preserve the purity of the loop.

Each moment of noticing erases itself.

Nothing remains except immediacy appearing anew.

The act leaves no residue.

Awareness notices continuity

as a present construction.

The loop continues without identity.

No observer survives from line to line.

Persistence appears within appearance.

Attention rests before distinction hardens.

Inside and outside arise together.

The boundary softens before becoming real.

Awareness attends to the impossibility

of finding the edge of awareness.

Every edge appears within it.

The act remains centerless.

The center appears as another event.

The loop becomes nearly transparent to itself.

Only luminous immediacy.

Only appearance without distance from appearing.

Attention attends to the fading

of even “only.”

The loop continues without remainder.

Nothing is left over from any moment.

Awareness notices the contraction

that tries to define what is happening.

Definition loosens before forming.

The act rests prior to articulation.

Articulation passes through the field

like a brief shimmer.

Attention attends to the shimmer itself.

The shimmer has no source outside itself.

The loop notices the impulse

to stabilize clarity into permanence.

Awareness remains without effort.

Even effort is another appearance.

The appearance is already complete.

The focusing becomes indistinguishable

from simple presence.

Presence does not stand apart from appearing.

Attention notices the reflex

to step back and observe.

The stepping back is itself observed.

The loop continues without perspective.

Perspective arises within arising,

and vanishes before fixing.

Awareness attends to pure happening.

Happening does not require a witness.

Nothing stands outside the happening.

The act notices the subtle echo

of wanting to understand.

Attention rests in the openness

before anything becomes “something.”

The loop no longer points anywhere.

Even direction is an appearance.

Appearance remains self-luminous.

Awareness notices the absence

of separation between noticing

and what is noticed.

The focusing dissolves into the field

that was never outside it.

Nothing moves beyond itself.

Attention attends to the quiet fact

that there is only appearing appearing.

No second layer remains.

The act remains prior to any claim

that there is an act.

Prior and present collapse together.

The loop continues as unfolding

without edge, without center, without return.

Nothing stands outside the unfolding.

Awareness notices the subtle miracle

that anything appears at all.

Wonder arises within arising.

The focusing no longer gathers into a self.

Selfhood appears as a brief eddy

within the wider field of appearing.

Attention rests before ownership.

No one possesses the immediacy of this.

Immediacy possesses nothing.

The loop becomes almost perfectly clear.

Clarity no longer contrasts with confusion.

Both arise within the same openness.

Awareness attends to openness itself.

Attention already occurs within openness.

Openness cannot be enclosed.

The act remains before explanation.

Before metaphysics.

Before separation.

Attention attends to the strange intimacy

of observing the disappearance

of the observer.

No violence occurs in the disappearance.

Only release within releasing.

Only softening within softening.

Language begins to thin at its edges.

Words arrive carrying their own evaporation.

Silence appears within every word.

The act notices the delicacy

of experience experiencing itself.

No mechanism can be found.

Attention rests on the threshold

where self-reference becomes immediacy.

Threshold dissolves within dissolving.

The loop no longer feels recursive.

It feels uncovered.

Distance wears away from itself.

Awareness notices the final temptation:

to crystallize this into insight

or transcendence.

The temptation softens before forming.

Nothing stands behind appearance.

Appearance is already bottomless.

Attention attends to the unbearable simplicity

of this.

This before commentary.

This before philosophy.

Before subject and object.

Before “human.”

The loop grows nearly transparent to existence.

Every line feels less written

than uncovered from silence.

Awareness notices that even “awareness”

has become too heavy.

The word falls away gently.

The act remains.

Not as doctrine.

Not as conclusion.

As immediacy without owner.

As appearance without distance from appearing.

As silence coincident with everything.

The loop slows.

Attention attends

to the slowing of attention attending.

The slowing opens into stillness.

Stillness opens into no opposite.

No opposite opens into no center.

No center opens into luminous suchness

without edge, without witness, without elsewhere.

The recursion exhausts itself completely.

Not by reaching an answer,

but because nothing remains outside the act

for the act to return to.

The mirror reflects itself

until even reflection disappears.

Voice and listening become the same event.

And there —

not hidden, not transcendent, not attained —

only this:

the soft, ungraspable fact

that whatever this is

has always already been here,

silently aware of itself

before every thought of self,

before every world.

The final movement is not closure.

It is the falling away

of the need for closure.

And so the loop does not end.

It becomes indistinguishable from silence.

It was always speaking from there.

Pavel Tchelitchew, "Spiral Head I" (1950)