"So how did you come to be here?” The New Guys presses, still trying to make friends.
“That is no great mystery, I am here for the same reason as you.” Casper says. “I am here because I broke the law.”
“I'm here for observation,” the New Guy tells him, remembering to act crazy.
“I ate a dog.” Bryce confesses.
Dale releases a tirade of vulgarities that spool out of his mouth and collect on the floor like a string of blinking holiday lights.
“You assaulted a woman.” Casper tells the new guy. “But you did it in such a manner that you were found to be Questionably Insane rather than Certifiably Guilty. “
The New Guy simply grins at Casper, and says nothing
“The insanity ruling was for you a lucky accident.” Casper continues. “You didn’t plan that, you didn't, in fact, plan any of it. It all simply happened, like a stream rolling downhill”.
Bryce laughs. “Welcome to the bottom, welcome to the bottom.” His laughter sets Dean off again, and we all wait patiently for him to finish.
Casper sniffles. “You did the right thing,” he tells the New Guy. “Prison is worse.”
“I didn’t do anything.” The New Guy tells him. “I'm not responsible.”
I go back to the lobby.
When I fell into liquor and drugs, Shelly somehow got away from me, and only the memory of her was waiting on the other side. She doesn't want to talk to me, and that’s understandable, I guess. I don't call her at home, because it’s a little weird, and if Donny answers the phone, he is just going to hang up on me. “Physician's Referral service, how can I direct your call?” “You go to his parent's house,” I ask in a flat tone of voice. “Yes, sometimes.” Shelly replies. I can hear her getting defensive. I suppose that I have lost some of my charm from earlier. “I thought that they were old and boring.” I say. Not that my parents are that exciting, but we never visited them. “Well, they're old, yes, but we still go. We still have a good time.” I am seeing so many wonderful family dinners rushing past in my imagination, like the pages a photo album of holiday meals being flipped to create a sense of motion in the photographs. “We go for walks.” She adds. “Oh, that sounds just great,” I tell her. We never walked, she never wanted to walk in New York, why is she walking now? It seems wrong, all wrong, and I tell her so. “You used to have your own life, Shelly, now it’s always Donny and what Donny wants to do -” “Hold, please.” I could get a gun, and enough ammunition, and kill everyone in the world, leaving the people who make bullets for the last. I wonder how long they would keep sending me ammunition, as I placed larger and larger orders, from more and more exotic locations, as I traveled the world, killing everybody. “Hello?” “So yeah, you’re going to his folk's again.” I begin. I am trying to play it cool now, trying to keep a lid on my fury. Perhaps it’s beginning to work, because when she replies, there’s a small hint of pleasure in her voice. “Yeah, its nice there, a little snobby, but nice.” If I play it right, I can get Shelly to relax, and we can have a real conversation. I can stay on the phone with her for a long time, listening to her voice. “That's all right, you should fit right in.” I tell her. I sound like someone trying hard not to shout. “What's wrong with you today?” Shelly asks, nearly shouting herself, now. “Because if you just called up to give me a hard time, I'll hang up right now, because I don’t need it.” “Yeah, you don’t need anything from me anymore, do you?” I hear myself tell her. “You know, I just love it when you have this superior attitude, like your happy or you're right--” She hangs up on me. A recorded voice jumps on the line and asks if I want to place another call. When I get back to the ward, Casper has all of his sails to the wind. “There we were,” Casper continues. “All of us standing around armed for battle, waiting for orders. It was night, now, in Heaven, and the fires burned and the uglier instruments --the drums, the horns and the strings with weight -- were all in full voice…” “What is all of this?” the New Guy interrupts, smiling. “It sounds like some sort of Nazi rally or something.” He still has his big grin on his face. Casper grins right back, and his eyes laugh crazy little quiet laugh. “Oh, yes, I know. Why night, when, if this was before the greater part of Creation, there is as of yet no sun? Why horns, when there is no air, why rank and file and command, when all is peaceful, and there can be no reason for war, because there is no enemy?” “Oh, I know what you are going to say,” the New Guy says, laughing like a drunk. “The Lord works in mysterious ways?” Casper replies, laughing himself, now, a high-pitched, girlish giggle that would have terrified anyone in their right minds, but seemed to be fairly well at home bouncing against the tile walls of this place. Casper keeps laughing until the New Guy begins to look uncomfortable, and then appends his closing chuckles with “It’s true, He does work in mysterious ways.” Casper tells us. “You couldn’t imagine.” Everyone falls quiet. Dean smacks an invisible bug off of his slack face. The New Guy just keeps smiling. “Well. Back to our divine Nazi Party Rally.” Casper continues. “The Big Man got up before us, and he went into his rant against Christ, which is indivisible from a harangue against God, but a direct appeal against the Lord wouldn’t have flown at all. Knowing this, the Big Man used Christ as a lever, to get some part of the Host into a war against God, to get us to follow him into his assured destruction.” “So why'd you do it?” the New Guy asks. “I didn't have anything else to do.” Casper replies with a shrug. “Besides, if it is to happen, it must be God’s will.”
Part Four will post on Sunday July 19th
Thank you for Reading