Love Unreasonably
BJ’s Restaurants and The Cheesecake Factory
One of my favorite hospitality stories was shared by Will Guidara in his newsletter, Pre-Meal as shared with him by Rob DeLiema.
I’ll share the short version and the link to the original article below that:
A customer went to BJ’s Restaurant’s 12th location at the time (they now have 215 locations) and had a terrible experience. She called the corporate office to complain and ended her call by saying she wished she’d saved herself the trouble and gone to The Cheesecake Factory, a restaurant that never let her down.
The short version of the resolution is that Rob gave her a gift, not an ask.
He didn’t invite her back to a BJ’s Restaurant. Instead, he sent her a gift card for The Cheesecake Factory so she could have the meal she really wanted.
What do you think that did for the relationship?
Here’s the full article from Pre-Meal: https://cfo.fyi/pmgift
I'm a Fan of Unreasonable
I first read Will Guidara’s book, Unreasonable Hospitality, at roughly the same time I finished a second reading of Bob Goff’s book, Everybody Always.
On the surface, the two books are very different. One is about delivering hospitality in a customer service environment and the other is a collection of stories and experiences about loving your neighbors and your enemies as a follower of Jesus Christ.
On the other hand, the two books are two sides of the same coin: Love.
Here are excerpts from the respective book blurbs from Amazon:
“Will Guidara was twenty-six when he took the helm of Eleven Madison Park, a struggling two-star brasserie that had never quite lived up to its majestic room. Eleven years later, EMP was named the best restaurant in the world.
“How did Guidara pull off this unprecedented transformation? Radical reinvention, a true partnership between the kitchen and the dining room—and memorable, over-the-top, bespoke hospitality…”
And…
“What if we stopped avoiding the difficult people in our lives and committed to simply loving everybody? What happens when we give away love like we're made of it? In Everybody, Always, Bob Goff's joyful New York Times bestselling follow-up to Love Does, you'll discover the secret to living without fear, constraint, or worry.
“Bob teaches you that the path toward the outsized, unfettered, liberated existence we all long for is found in one simple truth: love people, even the difficult ones, without distinction and without limits.”
The type of love that Goff both radiates and encourages is also unreasonable. It’s a love that we rarely experience in our modern world.
Combining the two ideas led me to redefine my company’s first core value this way:
“Love, Service, & Hospitality. Behind every number is a person and we love our clients enough to serve their deepest needs, not just their immediate requests.”
More importantly, the combination helped me to dig deeper into myself to understand the disconnect I feel within myself between two truths:
First, I believe in the Two Great Commandments as taught by my Master, Jesus Christ. Namely, Love God and Love Your Neighbor. (Note: I’ve included some Bible verses at the end in case you want to study these more.)
Second, I don’t love easily. Love doesn’t come naturally to me. At the very least, I struggle to be an outwardly loving person.
I’m not Bob Goff
I met Bob Goff once.
It was a brief encounter where we were introduced before he gave the keynote address at a financial conference.
As we were introduced, I offered my hand to shake. He gave me a big smile, shook his head, and said, “Nope. I’m a hugger!”
If you don't know Bob, he’s a speaker and the writer behind a series of bestselling books that revolve around love and faith. He’s a big bear of a man, gregarious, full of warmth, and the kind of person who hugs strangers and means it. Bob exudes love. It pours off of him.
Bob’s hug was an experience I won’t forget.
If he wasn’t a hugger in real life, I think it would seem odd.
I am not Bob.
My love for the people doesn’t look like Bob’s. I’m not a natural hugger. I’m not the loudest voice in the room. I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m an introvert, sometimes awkward in public, and my love shows up differently. It shows up in being prepared for the meeting. Sometimes, it shows up in telling a client something they don’t want to hear.
If I tried to be Bob, it would come across as awkward and creepy.
But I Can Change
There’s a risk behind publicly declaring that I love everyone—that I embrace the philosophy behind both books—when I know that I do not love easily.
There’s a business risk behind publicly touting your company’s primary core value is Love, Service, and Hospitality, when not living up to this core value can create problems and misunderstandings at a minimum, as well as negative reviews and poor word of mouth.
In both aspects of my life, at this point in time, these are more aspirational values than ones that are fully active.
But they are the values I have claimed and I WANT to make my own.
I desire to possess great love, to be of service to others, and for both myself and my company to show amazing hospitality to the people and clients we serve. More than that, I desire to BE POSSESSED OF...
-
A love for God that surpasses even what I already feel for Him
-
A love for my neighbors that breaks down walls and boundaries
-
A love for my enemies that prompts me to see through their eyes
-
A hospitable and graceful nature that helps me deliver experiences to my family members, my friends, my neighbors, and my clients that they will always remember
I’m already 56 and I have fewer years left ahead than I have behind me, but I intend to make them the best years ever.
That’s one reason I also bought Guidara’s new book, Unreasonable Hospitality: The Field Guide.
It’s also why my frequent scripture study focuses on love, giving service, and being hospitable. (Note: I’ve included some Bible verses at the end in case you want to study these more.)
Is Hospitality the Same as Love?
No.
Hospitality, and, for that matter, service, are actions. Ways that we do something for someone else.
But they have to come from somewhere.
Hospitality can certainly be motivated by, say, the desire to push, pull, and drag your middling brasserie to become the #1 restaurant in the world.
Or, in my case, my desire to build an accounting firm that clients will rave about.
But those motivations are temporary. In Guidara’s own words, in the Epilogue, he talks about the fact that it had to end at some point.
Love, on the other hand, is eternal. Its source is eternal, therefore Love can be nothing other than eternal.
So, my focus is on the underlying source: Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.
I need to do better and become better about serving others, for sure.
My firm needs to do better and become better about delivering (a) core services without a hitch, and (b) delivering a hospitality experience that converts clients into brand ambassadors.
That said, my hypothesis is that if our central focus is on loving our neighbors as we love ourselves, then the delivery, the mechanics, the services, and the experiences will all get better as well.
/s/ Brian Woodland
Bible Verses That I Mentioned Above
You don’t necessarily need to believe in the Bible to recognize that these principles are deeper and more enduring than the typical lifespan of a business.
This list is not comprehensive, but it’s a good start:
Love God:
Deuteronomy 6:5, Mark 12:30, 1 John 4:19, John 14:15, and Romans 8:28
Love other people:
Leviticus 19:18, Mark 12:31, John 13:34-35, and Romans 13:9-10
(In particular see these three accounts of the same encounter with a group of Pharisees and lawyers: (1) Matthew 22:34-40, (2) Mark 12:28-34, and (3) Luke 10:25-37.)
Be hospitable to others:
Genesis 18:1-5, Job 31:32, Leviticus 19:33-34, Isaiah 58:7, and Hebrews 13:2
Disclaimers
-
This article is 100% AI free. This is all me, including the emdashes and the photos.
-
Links, if any, may be affiliate links. If you buy something after using my links, I’ll get a buck or two, which I’ll reinvest and use to do some good.
Ways We Can Work Together
For business owners struggling with cash flow:
The Cash Flow Boost™ Methodology helps you find hidden cash, understand what drives cash flow and cash flow growth, and builds a forward-looking plan you can use to compound your cash flow. If your cash flow keeps you up at night, reply or email me at hello@engageaccord.com and tell me what’s going on in your business. I read every email and I’ll respond.
For bookkeeping and accounting firm owners:
I’ve launched the Cash Flow Boost™ Blueprint with the mission to save 10,000 small businesses from bankruptcy. But to do that, I need your help. This is the program that teaches why and how to add cash flow advisory services to your practice and serve your clients at a higher level. Reply with “Blueprint”, or email me at hello@engageaccord.com and I’ll send you the details.
For anyone ready to use movement as medicine:
A daily walking, rucking, or hiking practice is one of the most powerful things you can do to manage stress, improve your energy, and start reversing the damage that a sedentary, high-pressure life does to your body. I’ve lived this. I’m living it right now. If you want to start but don’t know how, reply and tell me where you are. Or email me at hello@engageaccord.com and we’ll figure out a starting point together.