Do I have something to say?
Placeless, because it is not really a place; space and time are fabrications of the mind; but the knowing, the sense I am, I am alive, is not a mind construct.
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I was so addicted to thinking! I was the thinker. Thoughts, feelings, circumstances and all the me-stories, were my identity, my concern, hope, suffering.
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When thinking stops I don't disappear. Effortless.
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The "me" is effort, because it needs constant mental activity to keep this pseudo entity alive. Coming to rest feels almost scary. "Die before you die"... is this from the Bible? I remember "I die daily" as Bible content.
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Sorry for my mental confetti, this text here is an experiment of not editing previous lines; of not constructing the text, but to come closer to a flow, in filling 1000 words?
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Interesting, isn't it, we are called Human BEings, not human doings! And yet most of my own conditioning, development seemed to have focused on becoming, on doing.
Being was kind of good for nothing, didn't generate immediate outcome, couldn't be measured or compared.
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Mind can only process contrast! Mind can only cognize what can be picked up by the sense organs (seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling in the physical, and thinking in the mental realm).
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If you cannot measure it it doesn't exist was the idea.
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Presence, Being, Peace...
As soon as we use words we are somehow trapped and empowered.
It seemed that words is all "i" have. Ideas, memories is all I am... Stories about a "me", this body-mind that is an obvious fact from the "person" viewpoint, but then upon closer examination cannot be located outside of mind-activity.
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The sense I AM, I exist is undeniable; but what I am remains a mystery, because every answer will be mind-stuff, will be concepts, mental images that come and go.
But who is the one aware of the coming and going?
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Some Bible lingo, entering the Bible namespace, free of beliefs, but sensitive towards direct experience and the profound seeing that suffering is attitudinal, caused by 10% faulty thinking and 90% muscle-memory (to be scientific).
I like to call him Mr-Jesus, the one who invites us to look behind the masks of personhood, by asking (yourself): Who do you say I AM?
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If we are stuck in thinking the answer is either flesh (objects) or Spirit (Presence/Awareness), or a combination of both.
"Born from below" (when we identify as body-mind, as the mental 'me') then our happiness and safety is determined by circumstances.
"Born from above" it is seen that Awareness/Spirit is prior to mind, before stories are being told or believed.
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I am, beyond doubt; but what I am I don't know.
This sounds weird, scary, crazy?
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"Born from below" - identified as an autonomous person - I am trained to become, to progress, to be someone, to have and to hold.
"Born from above" – I simply am! Outwardly – judged by appearances, through the filter of mind – nothing has changed: there is still a body-mind, with a story, with a conditioned mind, but somehow the sense of lack made room for inner space; the fear and doubt, the struggle for survival has relaxed into an open yes-ness of What IS, without anymore this compulsive dysfunctional mental me-narrative demanding all attention.
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Nothing has been added, but what was only assumed has been unlearned or seen through:
Mind is a powerful tool, but it is not a space to live in.
Yes, thinking happens, but it is more still, more clear; with less emotional charge; it simply is a tool but it is not "me" anymore.
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Nothing special, no enlightenment, nothing to claim, nothing to teach, nothing to get; but simply to do-be.me
What an interesting journey, without the need to come to conclusions.
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I AM – the Presence of Awareness; aware of body-mind-world.
Nondual pointers and concepts are useful, but they were also a trap for no-one.
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I enjoy Mr-Jesus! Not as a historic figure, but as a guide, a support, an anchor to dis-cover what never cannot be, to feel more comfortable in my own skin, in practical daily living.
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From person (the me-story) to Presence (resting in and as Being).
Still the same body-mind, the dance between rest and activity, doing stuff, having preferences, having buttons pushed; but something is profoundly different.
Gratitude, Love, more energy, much less thinking, or even more thinking at times.
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Someone says that there are three legitimate uses of the mind: celebration, being practical, sharing (self-knowing).
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Wow! 210 words to go, here on tuhat.net
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"Born from below" we are stuck in conceptualizing, in knowing only what thinking, feeling and perceiving report to the assumed me-center. A body-mind tossed into a world of eight billion others, on a planet that spins around itself, in empty space.
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For me the Bible is very helpful in debunking the sin, the missing the mark, the human drama.
So fascinating how complex Life is, seen through the filter of mind; such a magic show, and so much harmony and generosity in my daily living! One could argue that I live in a bubble, but I am not isolated; I meet people, I use money, buy food, but somehow it is happening without "me" struggling or being clever.
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What is the major shift?
From shit to shift?
From suffering, from being lost in the mind, to the seeing that "this world" is thinking, feeling and perceiving.
Not to deny suffering and ignorance, but to see through the stories mind tries to sell us as reality.
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What do I really want? What is available?
"Practical peace in daily living, independent of circumstances" is such a powerful pointer into Light and clarity!
Meet me at the GardenOfFriends.com if you dare (-;
PS: I fixed two typos; and again the whole thing is an experiment.